Greetings, everyone. I just wanted to  stop in briefly to update my followers on what I have been working on recently . Whenever, I started this blog I shared that I was venturing off to start my own professional services.

For those of you who may not know, I am a domestic violence survivor.  Now, I  am not sharing this for pitty or sorrow. I feel the need to share my story & experiences in order to help others who may be going through the same or simular situations, or for love ones affected by thise invilved with domestic violence.

Research shows that the victims of domestic violence or abuse are not the only ones who suffer or are affected. Close family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, & children along with the entire community are all affected in some fashion by the victim’s circumstances or the abusers behaviors.

I have been leaving free from abuse for 6 years now & it has been so life changing. I have more joy, happiness, & peace. At first, it was very challenging for me trying to figure out how…”How am I going to make it out & then once I make it out….what’s next?” I was truly scared; probably more afraid of leaving & not knowing than sticking around and fearing for my life. Of course, that was just my temporary carnal-being (flesh) in action,  because once I began to activate my faith in God…all fear was obsolete, diminished, finished, done.

I told God that I was scared, and He verbally assured me that everything would be ok. God said, ” Don’t worry about him, he will be ok….But I got you…” At that moment I began to cry uncontrollably,  because I know that when God speaks things happen.

So, here I am now still trying to process the goodness & mercy of the Lord, because he saved me. Out of all the statistical deaths related to Domestic Violence – family, friends, class-mates, & co-workers I have experienced it all. Near death experiences on several different occasions, but God……God saw fit to spare my life, so that I  may witness, testify, teach, educate, help, & guide others who have or are experiencing similar senerios.

So, I will continue to keep you updated on my progress. Oh, yeah. I almost forgot, but I have also began working on one of my many books to be written. Once I have completed it, I would love feedback & constructive criticism. Until next time, thanks for reading.



(Living, Prosperous )20180409_152109


Family Ties


Who’s ever said growing up, “I want to be a single parent? “Well, I can definitely say, “Not me!” Looking back over the years, I can truly say that I am a survivor, and God has proven himself time & time again to be merciful and on time.

There were times in my life when I thought that I couldn’t or wouldn’tmake it through. But, I also knew that if I had any type of faith; even if it was as small as musturd seed anything could be possible. What is faith? According to the Word of God (Bible); Faith is the substance of things hoped for & evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1, King James Version.) Call things that are not as though they were- Romans 4:17 (KJV).

Such powerful spirited words; with intense capabilities of bringing things to fruition. Frui is a Latin derivative meaning, “to enjoy.” Attainment of anything desired; accompliment.

It is said that a family that prays together will stay together….

I am the head & not the tale; I am above & not beneath. No weapon formed against me shall prosper, because I am the child of the most high God- I HUMBLE myself before the Lord & ask that He keeps His hands upon me……….. Thank God, I don’t look like what I  been through. May the Lord continue to be a fence all around me every day.

Forever Grateful,

Living Prosperous  (Aisha)

Tis the Season

Hellooo👋, Happy Holidays to everyone. Of course, today was Thanksgiving; a celebration & time when family and friends all come together. This is a day of recognition & giving thanks over a large feast.


Now I’m not 100% sure about all of the things that transpired leading up to this well known holiday, and I’m not going to sit up here and act like I do. What I do know is that it involved Native Americans & Europeans, and whatever they taught us in school is only what they wanted us to know. I also know that it is recognized as a national holiday & the concept has been passed down from generation to generation.

Don’t get me wrong because I do enjoy this special day–but why do we have to wait until the 4th Thursday of every November to give thanks & show love. That’s a really long time. I’m not saying that you should cook over the top (special/large) meals & invite everyone over every day but it shouldn’t take a whole year & national holiday for this to occur.

After today’s dinner I decided to just lay around & watch a couple of movies. My youngest daughter wanted to watch one of her favorite movies, “Daddy’s Little Girls” by Tyler Perry, and I decided to watch one of my old time favorites, “Soul Food” by George Tillman Jr.

As I was watching the movie “Soul Food,” I began reminiscing about back in the day when I was a young girl. My family on my mother’s/grandmother’s side used to always gather on Sundays after church @ my great-grand- mother’s, Ma Mary (pronounced Ma Mur) for food & fellowship. They also gathered together @ other random times for family fun & love ❤. We were a very close knitted family. As time went on, and years passed by & with the loss of certain loved ones the family started coming together less often unless there’s a death in the family.

The point that I’m making is, we should give recognition & thanks daily. We should not have to wait for special holidays or lost of loved ones to come together. I’m not saying that you have to gather & congregate daily or weekly, but do it often. And aside from that you should communicate and let loved ones know how much you care & appreciate them and whatever role they play in your life. Be grateful & give thanks for your own life daily, and communicate it to your immediate family living in your home.

You’ll never know when it’ll be the last time you see or speak to someone. So, in order to prevent guilt or regrets in life-communicate & share your love and/or appreciation with those who have a great impact or influence in/on your life. Enjoy your holidays & be safe. Until next time, remember to be thankful.



P.s- When I first began working on my post it was late Thanksgiving night. But of course it is now Friday the day after, which is also known as Black Friday. Again, have a Happy Holidays….




Hello 👋 Influence of Change subscribers & viewers. First, I want to apologize for missing last week’s blog sessions. I was involved in a small car 🚗 crash. Nothing fatal though, thank God I’m alive to share with you all my experience.

But, before I do that; I just want to say that I’m thankful & grateful to be here to interact & communicate with you all. We have entered into a new month November, I’m looking forward to my youngest daughter’s 15th BIRTHDAY and Thanksgiving.

For those of you who may not be aware last month, October, was Domestic Violence Awareness month. I would like to send my condolences to all family & friends who may have lost a loved one ❤ to Domestic Violence.

For those of us who have endured such traumatic & life changing experiences & Survived; Just know that it wasn’t all for nothing. A Living, Walking Testimony. @ Influence of Change my agenda is to help inform & bring awareness. Influence others through my way of life & experiences to add value, wisdom, patience, understanding, love & forgiveness, humility, integrity, grace & virtue, happiness, & self-love. Alongside of anything else that may be included in the ingredients for Living Prosperous. With me saying all of that; let those who have gained wisdom & knowledge through different areas & experiences in life be of an ifluence to those who may lack some of the wisdom & knowledge that you have gained as they adventure through different areas of their life; but in a very postive & inspiring way.

Ok, so now that I have addressed those issues; I’m now going to explain what happened the night 🌙 my car 🚗 was crashed/smashed. Well, I was on my way home from earning extra income-(I will share that with you @ a different time). So, I decided to stop & get myself a Mountain Dew, which is probably my favorite beverage @ most particular times. Now with all of this happening, of course it is all done in a matter of seconds.

My thoughts, ” Uhm, I am only 75 cents short from making my daily quota. But it’s ok & I did good, so I’m gonna go ahead & home get me some rest, so I can be rested for tomorrow’s journey…random thoughts….Oooo, I’m thirsty. I know I’m going to want to drink a little Dew before I close my eyes 👀 to sleep. Man, I really don’t feel like stopping. But if  you don’t get it now, when you lay down you are going to want it & there isn’t anything to drink @ home. Dag, I just passed a store. Good, I can stop @ this gas ⛽ station.”

Imagine driving through a parking lot & almost colliding with another moving vehicle. Drivers of each vehicle become aware of the possible threat of danger & immediately stop. Which ever driver has the best position to proceed without causing damages or harm should do so; after ensuring with the other driver that it is safe to go ahead using non-verbal communications – then when it’s safe & clear the next driver should proceed as well; Preventing all damages & mishaps.

Of course, we all know that’s not how it went down; that’s why I have a story to tell.


So, as I was carefully pulling into the gas station’s parking lot & checking my surroundings, I observed a parking space straight ahead of me.I decided that is were I would pull in to park.

Observations included: one parked car 🚗 ahead towards the left, two empty parking spaces straight ahead, one car @ gas ⛽ pump to right, several vehicles parked further to the right after devider, one large white van backing & pulling out of parking space on the further right side, and heading out on that side as well. As I began to pull into my parking space the car to the right of me at the gas pump began swiftly pulling away from pump turning left while looking right.

When I observed that there may be a possible collision about to take place, I immediately applied my breaks coming to a complete stop. The driver of the other vehicle (a male), looked me in my face & did not stop his car until he crashed it into mine. The impact was really hard causing me to scream & use profanity, “Aaaaaahhh SHIT!!!Damn.” Afterwards I was kind of scared to get out & see damages. After he backed his car 🚗 up off of my car 🚗 he got out.


It was really cold that night, & I was kind of scared to look. As I slowly got out of my car & eased around to the passenger’s side to see what damages were done; the only thing he had to say was a slow, “Uhh?”  So, I replied back with an attituded, “Uhh?”

He did not speak @ all- no ” I’m sorry, my bad, are you ok,” nothing. He looked at my damage, he tried to push the dents out with his hands. He then turned & looked @ his vehicle that only had a little bit of scraped paint, rubbed his hands across it & then went inside of his vehicle & passed me his insurance card-still never said a mumbling word.

It was extremely cold; so cold that my teeth chattered & my body shivered so hard that I could not take a clear 📷 photo of his insurance card. He then asked for my information, but I wasn’t willing to do so until I was finished getting his information, because it was so cold. I asked him to do it for me because I was shivering so bad & he did.

Finally, when the police arrived he asked what happened, license, & proof of insurance. We both provided him a brief overview of what occurred. The officer then verified license& proof of insurance. He provided us with a case # & then departed. Afterwards, I went in the store buy my nice cold Mountain Dew.


Once I got back in my car & settled down I felt a tingling sensation running down the side of my neck. I went home & when I woke up later that day I was in a lot of pain- my neck & upper back mainly on the right side of my body. I went to the ER & now I’m following up with the chiropractor & insurance company. I’ve missed several days out of work & lost my job assignment. This was my first incident of this nature, so I have to figure this out. So, hopefully it will not take this long to ever again to post my blogs & interact with the blogging community.


Survival of the Fittest                          Influence of Change-                          (Living, Prosperous)

“Prince & Night in Shiny Armor”

“…Ain’t nobody gonna want you & if they do, its only cuz you gotta fat ass…”

Can you imagine hearing those belittling words time & time again? Yeah, that’s a form abuse; it’s called mental & emotional abuse.

Him: “What is it that you want in a relationship?”

Me: ” I really don’t know what I want from a relationship right now, but I definitely know what I don’t want from a relationship.”

Him: “Yeah, well you not leaving me.(Laughs & chuckles) What, you wanna leave so you can go be a whore?”

Me: “No, I’m not thinking about no man. Right now I’m just trying to build my relationship & grow closer to God, and focus on my children.”

Him: “Yeah, right. Man gone with that bull shit. Ain’t nobody stupid.(Laughs & chuckles”

Me: “Ok, you laughing now, but you won’t be laughing when My Prince & Night in shiny armor come & take me away.”

Him: Chuckles continue…”Yeah, ok. I’m gonna let your Prince Charming come & take you away….then I’m gonna come & still you back. (Chuckles & laughter)”

Me: “Ok, What Ever 👋…”                            “I know my Prince & Knight in shining armor will come for me…(quietly spoken).”

It is now October 2017 & I moved out on my own in October 2011, that’s a total of six years; Ooops, I almost forgot I have to subtract the 1st year due to lose ends & stalking. So, this October 2017 I’m celebrating five years free.

Free from the verbal, mental, emotional, financial, & let’s not leave out the physical abuse. Of course, none of it seemed to be a reality @ first. I kinda didn’t believe I was making the moves that I was making, but I was walking & acting out on faith.

I moved to Atlanta, Georgia maybe mid June of 2012. So, on August 18, 2012, which was my 32nd Birthday; I woke up to an early morning call from my mother in North Carolina. My first thought was, ” Man, it’s too early, what in the world.” But I answer the phone, “Hello, good morning mother” in a really tired voice. That would normally receive a response something like, “Good morning baby, sorry to wake you. Just wanted to say I love you. Call me back later after you wake up.”

Instead it went more like, “Do you know a lady named ‘Sh….’? She go to momma church.”

Me: I only know one lady with that name from ###, I used to do her hair. What about her?”

Mom: “I’m not sure. Let me call Aunt Burt. She will know. I don’t want to tell you anything wrong. Just hold on for one minute.”

Me: “Ok.” Anxiously & patiently waiting for further information.

Mom: “Aisha, you might want to sit down & smoke you a cigarette for this…”

Me: “Ok, I’m going outside on the patio give me a moment….ok, I’m ready.”

Mom: Ok, you know the Lady S, her daughter got killed….”

Me: “Whaaa what happened…she was killed in a car accident?”

Mom: “No, she was shot & killed. It happened early this morning. It was her Ex that she had broken up with. She was @ her mom’s house on the porch getting ready to go inside & he shot & killed her…”

“He shot & killed her…” just echoed in my head.

We went to high school & graduted together. Wow, oh my god. I can’t believe this has happened. I have heard stories & even lost an older cousin in such a violent manner. But, never did I expect it to be so close to home. We were Damn near the same age with the same amount of children; same sex & age range.I’m not going to lie, I’ve seen & felt death very closely @ different times during my abusive relationship, but Daaamn.”

I always feel that everything happens for a reason. We may not always know the reason @ that particular time & sometimes we may never figure it out, but there is always a reason.

I am a living testimony. Domestic Violence is real & it’s deadly. The first 24-48 hours are known to be the most crucial hours for a victim’s safety & lively hood. Don’t suffer in silence; become aware of your options & resources. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Rest in peace to all Domestic Violence victims. October 2017

I thank God on a regular, that he spared me & I made it out alive. I definitely don’t look like what I’ve been through. But, I’ve endured many hard times and struggles, and none of it was in vain.

In life our experiences are lessons & tools to teach. Awareness & knowledge is the key. The elders & those who have been through & experienced some things in life should be a ready & willing role model & mentor for the young & those who lack knowledge. It used to take a village to raise a child. Now, no one is allowed to correct your child with out having to answer to an angry parent for that matter.

Where and how are we supposed to learn the correct way of Life?

We have a lot of single family homes; parents can’t stand each other or respect each other long enough to effectively co-parent. No wonder it seems as though the younger generation has lost their dang minds.

I’ve said all of that to say that there is still hope for our future & there are still some good people out there who cares ❤.

Know your worth & don’t settle for less than. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are less than who you know your true self to be, and Definitely Don’t let anyone Destroy Your Dreams….

I got my Prince & Night in shiny armor…



Survival of the Fittest

(Living, Prosperous)



Be Aware…


Family or Household Members:

  • Spouse or former spouse
  • Dating or former dating relationship
  • Adults related by blood or marriage
  • Biological or legal parent-child relationship



Acts of Violence & Series/Behavior

Acts of violence & series of behaviors to include: intimidation, threats, psychological abuse and isolation. Abuse is any act used to gain power or control over another person. There are several types of abuse to include:

  • Physical abuse
  • Sexual abuse
  • Psychological abuse
  • Emotional abuse
  • Economic abuse



Battery and abuse occur among people of all races, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations and educational backgrounds. The responsibility for the violence resides with the abuser, and it’s a learned behavior. But with help the abuser can learn how to become non-violent. No one deserves to be mistreated or abused regardless of situations or circumstances.

According to statistics 85% of women ages 15-44 years of age in the U.S injuries are related to acts of domestic violence. Witnessing violence is the #1 factor for transmitting violence to the next generation. Disturbing but true fact police respond better for strangers than for Domestic Violence victims.

Often times women are involved in abusive relationships and are unaware only because it’s not physical. I’m here to inform you that it doesn’t have to be physical to be classified as abuse. It is a lot easier to spot physical abuse if you aren’t too naïve to the fact (great idea for separate post).

Physical & Sexual abuse include but is not limited to: hair pulling, biting, shaking, pushing, pinching, choking, kicking, confinement, slapping, hitting, punching, using weapons, forced intercourse, unwanted sexual touching in public, deprivation of food or sleep, among many other physical acts.

Now what may be a little more difficult for someone to identify as abuse would psychological/mental, emotional, and economic. Many have said that psychological and emotional abuse is worst than physical abuse. And I can just about agree with that, because it takes longer to heal that hurt; or to erase the mean, evil words spoken to you over and over again out of your memory. A black-eye or a busted lip can heal in a matter of days, but to try and clear your head from the constant sound of someone degrading or belittling you takes more time and effort to heal.

Psychological & emotional abuse include but is not limited to: insults, name calling, playing mind games, making you feel bad about yourself, putting you down in front of family & friends, humiliation, making all the big decisions, making you feel guilty, being the one to define the roles of men & women, treating you like a servant, making you think that maybe you’re crazy, and afraid to communicate your feelings and needs.

Economic abuse maybe the most difficult to identify, but it’s when the abuser has control over the victim’s access to economic resources, taking away their capacity to support themselves & are forced to depend on the perpetrator financially. Signs of economic abuse include but is not limited to: preventing you from having or keeping a job; *interfering with your efforts to maintain a job by sabotaging childcare, transportation, or other arrangements;* REFUSING to work; taking your money; not including you on family decisions; making you ask for money; not allowing you access to family finances; expecting you to behave in a certain way because you are not the “Breadwinner”.

It is important to know that disagreements do occur from time to time in relationships, but domestic violence & abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to establish and maintain power & control. Abuse is never a one time event; it is actually a cycle. During this cycle the victim can often times become more vulnerable to attacks. The cycle may occur many times through out a relationship.

Cycle of Violence:

This cycle may occur many times within a relationship. Be aware and pay attention to signs & patterns

Incident- any type of abuse occurs (physical, sexual, or  emotional)

Tension Building- abuser starts to get angry; abuse may begin; breakdown in communication; victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm; tension becomes too much; victim feels like they are walking on egg-shells

Making-up: abuser may apologize for the abuse, and may promise that it will never happen again; abuser may blame victim for causing the abuse; abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims

Calm: abuser acts as if the abuse never happened; physical abuse may not be taking place; promises made during making-up may be fulfilled; victim may hope that the abuse is over; abuser may give gifts to victim

It is important to know that the cycle may repeat many times within a relationship, and each stage may last for different time frames. Each cycle can take any where from a number of hours to a number of years to occur. It all depends on the abuser and their hunger or sense for control. Not all domestic violence relationships fit the cycle. Generally, as time goes on, the ‘making up’ and ‘calm’ stages began to diminish, and disappear altogether.

Awareness is the key to prevention. A good safety plan and support system is essential to ensure a non-deadly or lethal way out of an abusive relationship. Knowing the warning signs of an abusive relationship can be key to survival. Never under estimate your abuser, and know that the first 24-48 hours of removing yourself from the grips of an abuser are the most crucial.  If you or someone you know are involved in an abusive relationship, please Do Not Hesitate to reach out for help. You are not in this alone. There are 24 hour hot-lines, advocates, and other resources to help you get through your difficulties. Just know that know one deserves to be mistreated or abused, and no one has to suffer in silence anymore. The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233.

My references come from experience, education, and web-site. Comments and questions are welcomed. Please feel free to like, share, and follow.


Survival of the Fittest

(Living, Prosperous)

Once Upon a Time….

Fall of 1996 (Mid-October)

In a small country town called Norlina, some where in North Carolina, a place that many have never even heard of, lived a young teen-aged girl, named Icey. At the age of sixteen she made a decision that would impact the rest of her life. At the time of her decision, Icey was totally clueless; but, I always say that everything happens for a reason, and God doesn’t make any mistakes.

After a couple of months of being constantly pursued by a young male called “Pretty T” Icey decides to “stop playing hard to get” & accepts the invitation to become his girl, and allow him to be her man. In the beginning the couple was inseparable; like Bonnie & Clyde. You never saw one without the other, they were so close that some people thought they were brother & sister.



Almost two years into the relationship, the couple gave birth to their first child, a baby girl. Approximately four years later they produced and brought forth their second child, which was also a baby girl. In the mean time & in between time the couple had good times versus bad times that eventually turned into “No more time- gotta go!”

What may have seemed kind of peculiar & a little fuzzy during that time; later became really clear to Icey. Her relationship began in October of 1996 and it ended in October of 2010. Over the course of the couple’s relationship things went from good to bad and from bad to worse. During what may have seemed liked the worse time of Icey’s life is when she learned that the month of October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Upon learning this new this information Icey became very emotional, but aware at the same time. One of the things that became really crystal clear is that life occurs in cycles, and one will continue to repeat the same cycle until they have learned what’s necessary to move on. Also, the things we have to experience & endure in life is to strengthen us & allows us to be able to help others in same or similar situations.


Survival of the Fittest

(Living, Prosperous)

Ps. This post is based off real life situations, and an excerpt to my upcoming, untitled play and book. Names have been altered to protect identities. I haven’t settled on title yet, but once I have, then it will be announced.

Pss. Please feel free to leave comments in the comment section below. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask via comment section or email. I welcome you to like, share, and follow.


What’s Love…

Disclaimer: These are not my lyrics, but I have chosen to use them in relation to my life experiences. Lyrics are from “What’s Love Got to Do with it”-Song by Tina Turner & “I Want to Know What Love is”-Foreigner


“You must understand though the touch of your hand makes my pulse react…it may seem to you that I’m acting confused when you’re close to me; if I tend to look dazed I’ve read it some place, I’ve got cause to be….I’ve been thinking about my own protection, It scares me to feel this way…”

“In wanna know what love is, I want you to show me, I want to feel what love is…In my life there’s been heartache & pain; I don’t know if I could face it again; I can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far….”


What’s Love? A lot of people may say that love is complicated, but in actuality it’s not. Love is an emotion, and can be identified through acts of selflessness, endearment, loyalty, & affection. Many people misuse this and take advantage of the word “Love.”


(Free-Style Poem)

What does it mean to be loved by you

When I open my eyes in the morning thanking God for another day

I sit and I wonder- Lord can I really bare this load, I’ve been enduring for a while

And it seems as though this pain & suffering will never end

I don’t know Lord but I thank you anyway

As I continue to press on living one day at a time

Trusting & believing that my dream would some day come true

Building my strength that only comes from you

I fast and I pray, I pray and I fast

In order to know that this season is temporary and will not last

Becoming a living testimony is how I know that I’m Loved by you

(Freestyle Poem by: Aisha K. Brown)

Survival of the Fittest

(Living, Prosperous)

Love is not suppose to physically, mentally, emotionally, or financially hurt or cause pain. Love is supposed to be welcoming and not fearful. It should bring joy and not sorrow. Practice self-love, and know your worth. Never let anyone determine your destiny; “Acknowledge God in all your ways (everything) and he shall direct your path” (Proverbs 3:6).

Can you love me like I need to be loved? How do you view yourself? Always be honest with self; cast aside whatever is hindering progress in life and make a whole new start. Get connected, you are not alone and you no longer have to suffer in silence. If you suffer or know someone that is suffering from Domestic Violence/Abuse feel free to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline @ 1800-799-7233 Call 24/7


Influence of Change-Survival of the Fittest

(Living, Prosperous)

Thanks for visiting my blog; please feel free to leave comments and suggestions; questions are welcome



DAMN, I can’t believe he just hit me

ONLY to promise to never do it again 

MAYBE if I stop upsetting him, things will change & get better

EXCUSES, excuses, excuses

SORRY only lasts for a moment

‘TIL he loses control again


CRYING myself to sleep

VIOLENTLY, he pulls my hair & slams me to the floor

I try so hard to make it right

OTHERS tell me that I’m stupid or crazy for staying

LEAVING me without any solutions or support

NEVER in my wildest dreams did I imagine this happening to me





written by: Aisha K. Brown